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In the decade-plus that I've been immersed in the overlapping worlds of sex and tech, teledildonics has always existed as a dot on the horizon, the major technical innovation just waiting to completely transform sex as we know it. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, teledildonics refers to high tech sex toys that can be remotely controlled over the internet—enabling you to, for instance, unleash the power of a vibrator in San Francisco with a few taps on a keyboard in New York. While I'll admit that the idea of being able to remotely pleasure a partner sounds cool, in reality, there are very few situations where teledildonics actually makes sense. A few years ago, I stood on the floor of the Adult Entertainment Expo as a Real Touch representative hyped the Real Touch Interactive, a "haptic" device that used a souped-up dildo or, ugh, joystick to control the sensations meted out by a connected masturbation sleeve. The representative described a world where long-distance couples—for example, the military couples Real Touch was already reaching out to—could engage in simulated sex with the help of this product; so long as "sex" was defined as one partner selflessly jerking off, blowing, or fucking a pretty lame-looking dildo all for the pleasure of the other's sleeve-encased cock. The equation seemed pretty imbalanced and unappealing to me, until the Real Touch rep happened to mention a particularly novel aspect of their plan. Men who wanted to experience the pleasure of interactive sex wouldn't be limited by the women or men they could persuade to make sweet love to an underwhelming joystick.